Editor's Page
Democrat: Listen, Bill, don't you think this has gone far enough?
Republican: Don't I think what has gone far enough?
D: That asshole is gonna get us all un-re-elected.
R: Us yeah, but what do you guys have to worry about?
D: They're saying we shouldn't have let it happened, should have spoken up more.
R: Well, why didn't you?
D: Same reason y'all backed everything he wanted: fear of being called unpatriotic.
R: And not being re-elected.
D: Sure. But now it�s all coming together, with the Iraq disaster in the focus, the body bags, that broad camped out on the dickhead's doorstep, hurricanes and now Rove with his ass in a sling. Or do you think otherwise?
R: No, I don't think otherwise. And what about the deficit, the social security debacle, the environment, the ugly American label, etc. etc.
D: Yeah, and etc. It�s a black hole.
R: So what do you want to do about it at this late point in time?
D: (whispering) Impeach the mother_ _ _ _ _ _ (second half of word too low to hear).
R: (laughing) You gotta be kidding.
D: Not at all. I'm dead serious.
R: (no longer laughing) Okay, let�s suppose for a moment that it�s possible. What are we left with?
D: (long pause) Good God! Cheney. So let�s impeach both of them.
R: So then what have we got?
D: (longer pause) Good God! Rice.
R: Maybe we could convince her to resign.
D: (his turn to laugh)
R: Impeach her, too?
D: You got it.
R: So we're left with the Speaker of the House as President for three years, Who is he anyway � I mean now that DeLay is out?
D: I forget, but he�s a Republican.
R: Do you realize what this would do to the stock market?
D: Do you think I was born yesterday? Sell now, is my advice.
R: What�s the modus operandi?
D: You, a Republican, introduce the impeachment motion on the floor, I, a Democrat, second it.
R: No, this has gotta be a grassroots movement. You know, so we're forced to do it for the good of the country according to the people�s will � and all that shit.
D: Now you gotta be kidding. The people are asleep.
R: Yeah, well, something will turn up sooner or later.
D: Like what?
R: Beats me. Maybe Sandman Hussein will be re-elected president � of Iraq that is. Nice talking to you. I'm late for my squash game.
That's when I couldn't resist revealing myself. I stepped out from behind the cloak and said -
F: "Wait, I have something to tell you guys."
D: "Who the fuck are you?"
R: "Yeah, what are you doing here?"
F: "I'm a journalist, at the moment...sort of. Looking for a story...you know.
D: "Do you have a tape recorder?"
F: "Of course, do you think I'm an amateur?"
R: "If you quote us we're gonna sue the ass offa ya."
F: "No you're not."
R: "Who says? Do you know who we are?"
F: "No, and I don't want to know who you are."
D: "But..."
F: "And that's why you aren't gonna sue me. I'll identify you only as "Democrat" and "Republican"; I know which is which, I peeked.
R: "Wait a minute, John...I mean Democrat, maybe this isn't so bad."
D: "What do you mean, Bill...I mean Republican?
R: "Don't you see? The world gets to know that two leading senators are trying to find a way to get rid of Bushy and mob."
D: "Wow! Yeah. Who are you a reporter for, Mr...?"
F: "Smith."
R: "Oh, one of the Smith boys, heh? Who you tryin' to kid?"
F: "No, it's true; my father and grandfather were also Smiths. That's as far back as I know.
D: "Well, who do you report for?"
F: "The Southern Cross Review."
R: "At least you're from the South. You don't sound like a southerner though."
F: "I travel a lot. But look, I must admit that not the whole world reads the Review."
R: "Hmmm. Who owns it?"
F: "I do, I guess."
D: "What do you mean: you guess?"
F: "I mean that I own the domain name."
D: "You mean it's a blog? Jeez!"
F: "Not exactly."
R: "It doesn't matter, D; the web will pick it up."
D: "Yeah, the web picks up everything, including what I do Saturday nights."
F: "I'm not interested in that kind of thing, sir." (I decided to kiss ass a bit so they'd shut up and listen.)
D: "Good. Now what do you want to tell us?" (It worked.)
F: "It's the Constitution."
R: "What about it, boy?"
F: "It's a relic."
R: "What did you say? Are you attacking our Constitution, the Founding Fathers, Freedom, Democracy, Patriotism, George Washington, Abe Lincoln...?
D: "FDR?"
R: "Ha, ha! How about Clinton?"
D: "Why not? Just because he smokes Havanas..."
F: "No, no, I'm only saying that the Constitution was made for the past. What this country needs is a system that doesn't allow an imbecile like Bush to stay in office."
R: "I hope you ain't talkin' about communism."
F: "I'm talking about parliamentarianism."
D: "Good grief, can't you use shorter words?"
R: "Yeah, what's that - parla..parli...terrorism?"
F: "It's the system used by the European countries..."
D: "You mean France? Fuck them."
F: "France is sort of half and half, but the U.K., Germany, Holland - all the rest of them. Instead of a president they have a Prime minister who can be removed at any time by a vote of no-confidence. Even Canada has..."
R: "They still got kings and queens over there. I saw them on television. That's what our country stands for: no kings and queens. You should learn some history, boy."
D: "And what about Tony Blair? He's one of them Prime Ministers. Why haven't they kicked him out?"
F: "He's on his way."
D: "How do you know?"
F: "Trust me."
R: "Maybe this young fella's got something, D. We could hold a hearing 'bout it."
D: "I'm always in favor of hearings, lots of exposure."
R: (stretching out his hand to shake)"Just say 'a top level source' in your story, boy."
D: (stretching out his hand)"Top level bi-partisan sources, he means."
F: "Yes, sirs."
R: "You play squash, boy?"
